Again

Awaiting your destiny

On a smokey alley

Clinking glasses and flashing

Lights of sin on your tee

You happily sink deeper

Into your reverie

With a notion of freedom

That only you can see.

In the middle of the night

She wakes up at a knock

The wood, metal and the rust

Tired keys and a lock

Running to keep up. And tears

Of sorrow and of shock

Splash over the wrinkled cheek-

A wave on a dark rock. 

All you see is the fizz

At the bottom of your glass

The lights are still flashing

Colored lightening, so harsh

But your open eyes are

Opaque and you let it pass

The smell of cheap perfume

The shine of expensive cars.

The lump on her throat grows

As she gasps for some fresh air

But these men here don't care. 

She thinks of miracles

That have helped her in despair

And she closes her eyes

In silent, hopeful prayer.

You are still there, still there

How could you change your ways when

The time has passed? And lights-

They flash on you yet again

When she sits beside you

Waiting for you to begin

Explaining your actions.

And she could believe-again. 

On this Journey..

I hear a voice call out and I

Must turn around or just go by

Oh heart, stop thumping on my chest

For I must pass, I must not rest.



The world now looks like a big ship

I, a traveler on its tip

Though trials on my face gush through

This path I must, I must pursue.



Those roses, filled of mud they were

And thorns have grown soft petals here

I carry them on my bare hands

I carry them across the sands.



Oh Freedom, you were such a farce

Today, your meaning I do parse

Who wants you when submission's sweet?

With love and peace it is replete.



Across the seas this love pulls me

And that is where I wish to be

With that passion my heart does burn

I wish to go and not return.

Image source: http://goo.gl/U7C9b

Wasted

There's a fire somewhere, and they rush-

A trail of humans and of smoke

And over the ardor I gush

Under the dismal, dreary cloak.



All the screams of panic and fear

Sing the song of familiar grief

And I allay them, drawing near

Saving prizes from the fierce thief.

Gently, slowly, I dismiss the heat

I heal a burn, I clear the scene

And flowing down I wash some feet

Sweeping and scrubbing gray soil clean.



I come to rest where nothing more

Can brighten this shattering sight

And dirty though, my body sore

Ceasing here brings some respite.



They turn away, in soft murmur

Recalling what they'd just tasted

And who cares in this cold summer

That I was the one just wasted?

Image source: http://goo.gl/uzr37

The Two-Edged Sword

I knew there were two sides to you,

But can love reason, can love see?

"That other side is not for you-

For you, my sweetest side will be".



I saw that smooth, velvety glow

I checked the shine, so bright, so true

I flaunted you to a friend (a foe)

Now looking back, I think she knew.



I got so used to you being near

The hazy aura around you

Would never let me see the clear

Sharp edges on this dagger new.



And love you feigned, with evil thoughts

You crept into my memories

The flame that killed the swarming moths

Began to know no boundaries.



My love was like the river blue

That longed to meet the sprightly sea

And out of love it happily threw

Away its worthy identity.



This other side of you, my dear

Did caress me before the blow

And now, I tremble out of fear

For trickling down, my blood does flow.



I cannot rise from this low fall

I prostrate, and pray to my Lord

I whisper in pain, I recall:

I trusted a two-edged sword.



(Inspired by a scene from a movie. The girl falls in love with a criminal who ultimately kills her)

Image source: http://goo.gl/EYLUq

Remembering an Indian Childhood

Of sandal, spices and of mud

I smell my land-far, far away

Where children swung on banyan roots

And marbles were the game to play.



I dream of colors and flowers

And of the muddy paths I walked

And how I waited for the rains

And how we giggled while we talked.



I think of grassy orchards where

We played the game of climbing trees

And scrambling down with guavas ripe

I held my face against the breeze.



Come summer, what delight it was

To pickle mangoes, green and raw

Chasing the glow worms in the dark

And every shadow that we saw.



Sometimes sitting by the green pond

We took up fishing for some fun

And having caught a fish or two

I tried to dry them in the sun.



And now I am so far away

From childhood and this lovely land

There are no games, no colors bright

They were but castles on the sand.



These footprints on my memories

Cannot be washed away by time

No matter where I live or go

Like little bells they tinkle, chime.



At times these faded memories

Come out, alive, in my deep dreams-

The comfort of my adult life

Might not be as good as it seems.

Two Sides

A Smile.

Beautiful.

Full of love.

Not a care for

The world and its

Rules. Like the soft,

Gentle summer breeze on

The leaves of the dry oak;

Like the morning sun over the

Fresh patches of snow; like a hum

From the lips of a mother, singing a

Lullaby. That is her symbol of prosperity.

Stuck on her eyes, a drop, singing a

Different song. Caged, like a hum:

Dull. Trying to rise over the

Red winter, like a dry oak,

Standing by a breeze on

A chilly day. A soft

Cry, stifled. It's

Never cared for.

Full of pain.

Sad truth.

A Tear.

Just Like Death

A day before you succeed


Or you fail, is just like death.


Not that I have ever died


Nor have I ever the need


But if it were possible


To breathe and die at the same


Time, this would be close indeed.






A day before you succeed


Or you fail, is just like death.


Stuck in my throat, a dry tongue


Like a homeless man, in need


Of shelter, scrambles for air


Disabled, like a little bird


Flutters. Desperate, indeed.






A day before you succeed


Or you fail, is just like death.


Cold hands, colder feet, like ice


Clinging to you with the need


Of a new born, yearning for


Warmth. Hold it, or let it go


A difficult choice, indeed.






A day before you succeed


Or you fail, is just like death.


A wild dream that will not end


The knowledge of what you need


And what you might not receive


Scampering for direction


A furious frenzy, indeed.






A day before you succeed


Or you fail, is just like death.


Like gushing waves in the sea


Reach out to the shore in need


Out of desire, desperate


To feel the gray, rocky banks


Hopeful, hopeless. Pain indeed.






A day before you succeed


Or you fail, is just like death.


Much like an ugly defeat,


Only worse. An aching need


Of achievement and distress


Of misfortune, amplified.


A tribulation, indeed.






A day before you succeed


Or you fail, is just like death.


Forgotten at its outcome;


A day I will ever need-


A test of my endurance.


It sweetens my downfall and


Strengthens my progress. Indeed.

That Is What They Think

Adorned with beauty

Of nature, youth and wealth

She walks through the night

In a manner of stealth.



Glowing cheeks, glowing

Eyes of silver and gold

Like a fugitive

Neither shy, neither bold.



Like tender petals

Her fingers holding on

Close to her bosom

The little one; new born.



Walking, trotting on

A determined face, stern

With fury, perhaps

That she cannot discern.



Beside the river

She stands, thinking aloud,

"Should I, should I not?"

A whisper; not too loud.



If the world forgave

As the Lord does, there would

Be less to forget

Less to fear, less to brood.



In tears, she bends forth

Leaving the sign of sin

On the river bank

Her sleeping, dreaming son.



To wealth, to beauty

She runs, taking shelter

Covering, quickly

The hurt and the swelter.



Thus will be buried

A deed of shame, for shame

To save what exists

The nascent will take blame.



The world will see her

When the sunshine comes on

And noone will know

There was a boy, new born.



A beautiful life

Of which joys she can drink

She looks so happy

But that is what they think.

Alone

Walking, not knowing where
Stumbling over the surprised stones
My opaque eyes look into the dark
And stare.
Groping for the ground
Fumbling for the cracks I have to fix
My arms stretched out in front
And my legs, bound.
Flinching in fear at a far call
Streaming sweat on my shivering silhouette
My path betrays me again
And I fall.
Reaching out, I rise, in rue
Wanting though to wait awhile
My heart aching, pleading to stop
And bid adieu.

But he bides somewhere, beyond the dark and stones
Far away, in a land too foreign to fathom
I shall trudge towards him, again and again
Alone.

Cold

Like you go away
Never turning back to see
Where I stand today
Where we could have been.
Like you look at me
Not looking, yet
At the wounds you inflict
All the tears, still wet.
I will turn from you
From all you love
Unto the skies, the clouds
And the stars above.
When you want a friend
To talk, to weep
To hold your hand when you
Walk these roads, steep
I will not be there
To heal your heart
For I will be as cold
As you are from the start.
I will not care
When you walk over me
As cold as your heart
My heart will be.

Waiting

The distance

Between the light

The gray, dull night.

Alone.

Waiting

For waves of time

To stop, to stall

For me.

A small

Rustle by the trees

Brings hopes of you

Coming.

Above,

The clouds, the sky,

Look down; A glance

Of love.

Softly

The breeze will blow

Away the pain

Of yearning.

The fire

That burns a soul

Is all the warmth

I get.

The Journey

It was a journey like any other, I
Sitting by the window, panes raised
Enjoying the rhythm of the iron wheels
Hitting the tracks with their heels.
Ahead, I looked at the expanse of green,
Wires knitting patterns against the sky,
The trees running by, in a rush, like they
Cannot stop, but would like to stay.
The sandwich seller on my side,
Called at me, but I could not break off
From the life I saw, absorbing the sight
That on every journey gives me delight.
Beside me there were others, but they
Cannot see what I see, indulging instead
In talk that meant something to them I know,
But to me, a distant hum; dissonant and low.
Someone shuffled a newspaper, next to me
Or a magazine perhaps, the pages crackling,
A small noise perhaps, but made me turn
The divine show outside, I did adjourn.
Looking back, I know not what it was
Was it that I was piqued at being disturbed?
Or, did I turn to look at the stranger who
Was smiling at me with eyes so true?
Have you ever felt a moment
That is so small but feels long, very long?
Swimming through time, like a comet, I
Felt my soul and heart fly
Towards a stranger I had never met
And never will, for the world is large,
So much that people you love are lost
In the realms of time, they never last.
That silent smile and the loudest eyes
They looked on at me, like I was looking
Into a mirror, at a reflection
Of my insides, with the same affection.
Within that moment, we looked
At each other, in a nascent direction
Until the screeching of the brake
Paused the journey with a quake.
Have you ever made bubbles in the air
You see them float, until they burst
And sometimes when you blow too hard,
They explode, just when they were to start?
Just so, it was the end of a beginning
Of what could have been, I do not know
The lost magic was never found
We left each other, like captives unbound.
And then, it was a journey like any other, I
Sitting by the window, panes raised
Listening to the rhythm of the iron wheels
A clock ticked in my heart, and all that it conceals.

Decay

Like the dark night

Which bites into a full moon

And the abandoned nest

After the birds fly away

My deepest desires and skills

Are lost in a race today.

Like a bright morning

Which hazes out in the fog

And the autumn leaf

That comes down at fall

I walk like a drunken man

And write like you scrawl.

Like the light streaming

From the ventilators onto the floor

And the preserved flowers

Arranged on a potpourri

I live a strange illusion

That feels like a real story.

Like the odor on my body

Sprinkled with perfume

And the beauty of a woman

In the heights of her youth

I forget that this glitter will fade

Under the glow of the truth.

Like a living plant

That slowly dries into fodder

And the brilliant fire

Surely dying on the coal

Unaware, I decay every minute

Until I sleep into the hole.

To Be In Love..

To be in love, you must feel pain
Pain of loving, of having loved and lost
Lost in the galaxy of glittering delights
Delights that delight and never last.

Last summer rain on your garden
Garden of blossoming feelings, memories
Memories of a night well spent
Spent listening to the rain on the trees.

Trees that witnessed your times together
Together under the Banyan’s shade
Shade of happy, peaceful times
Times you sat together and prayed.

Prayed for each other with one another
Another day, another gift to cherish
Cherish the touch of the sun in winter
Winter chills when the greens perish.

Perish in pain like a dry river
River of sorrow when having to lose
Lose direction and stance, beyond control
Control your emotions and having to choose.

Choose between the future and today
Today that looks like a brilliant joy
Joy that will end with a tear someday
Someday that would do this, by and by.

By losing what you let go once
Once the blemish is on your being
Being an enhanced jewel on you
You will learn again, to love and sing.

The Common Man

Aged with work, bent with failure
Dying on hope and living against fear
Vast lands he’s crossed, lived on small ones
Effervescent in spirit, like a boy he runs
Never stopping at a calling crossroad
Tiring never of the heaviest load
Unsure of his future, but sure of his past.
Real hero who will die unsung, alone
Every adventure is forgotten, unknown.

I Look For More (Haiku)

Sunlight comes running
Lighting up the room of hope
Yet I look for more

Play a game of cards
And shuffle my old destiny
I win and I deal

Set fire on the ice
But let it not melt away
Yes I want them both

Sit by my pillow
Give me a real dream now
Wake me up smiling

Do my hair with love
So they fly but stay in place
Smelling like the rain

Walk in my shadow
I will never be alone
Marching towards joy

Make ripples on sand
As if it were but water
And let it flow by

Give me some flowers
That grow into potpourri
And never dry out

Make me fly the sky
Like it were a guided kite
Gliding like a bird

Romance with the rain
Make castles with the water
Like it were a beach

When I stretch my hand
Hold it and never let go
For I look for more.

Why?

A usual practice in India-"Dowry". Laws and education have not helped much in eradication of this unjust system.

There she sits, eyeing her toe-nail

They say she must not look in the eye

Her fingers drawing circles on her skirt

As she rests under the autumn sky.

The Winds that play a little game

Go flying by her eye

Upset her hair, disturb her shawl

She blushes, for she is shy.

The savories and the glasses of water

Spread out atop the charpoy

Fanning them from time to time

Mother dispels the occasional fly.

The Lady comes and holds her hand

Her face well-set, eyebrows held high

'Walk', she says, 'for we must see',

'If you have a limp, if your parents lie'.

She does as said

Her mouth bitter and dry

Father smiles and brings up small talk

As neighbors peep, a usual attempt to pry.

'He earns well', Lady says

Looking at Mother, but eyeing her boy

'Educated too, for her can read and write'

'We like her too'. Mother beams with joy.

'He will need a bike', Lady continues

'That's all we ask', her smile is sly

'For your daughter, of course, not for us'

'We are old' she adds, 'our life has gone by'.

Father sighs, looks at the clouds

They slide away and unveil the sky

Mother's gold and silver will be pawned

For he must raise the money, he must try.

She sits there looking at her toe-nail

Eyes well up, but she must not cry

'I am educated too', she thinks, 'I can read and write'

'And yet, Father must purchase the groom, why?'

A broken heart

If I stare long and hard

Will my eyes melt

Under the blazing sun

That peeps into my backyard?

I can then discard

Every dream and start my being afresh.

But are these dreams in my eyes

Or are they my heart's reward?

If I close my eyes and stop this thought

For a while or two

Will my eyes then stop

The teary onslaught?

I can then go on and never halt

At the shady path my memories tread.

But are these tears in my eyes

Or are they my heart's reward?

To School

In some sleepy village in India, you will find a little girl walk to school. Chances are, she doesn't even know why she is being sent there.

Braided with ribbons
Warmed and glistening with oil
And smelling of raw coconut
Her hair rests on her shoulders
Black and stiff
As she packs to school.

Inside her bag
Two old books lie
Coiled like snakes
Resting until threatened
Some marbles roll at the bottom
For an occasional game.
Also a box
Of steel and scratches
Bent with dents but tightly shut
A pickle and a piece of oiled bread
Leftovers of dinner.

Also a pair of flip-flops
Blue, like the Bay of Bengal
New, you see
Stored until the rains hit the earth
The pebbles would only spoil them.

Also a pencil
Sharpened with the kitchen knife
To perfection once, but now blunt.

A brown face
On a small body
Blossoming into youth
Any day now.
Gleaming in the sunlight
Her eyes lined with Kohl
And her skin yellow
From the bath in turmeric water
She walks down barefoot to school
On dry mud, pelting stones
At a stray dog that shares her path.

Unaware of what lies
Ahead of her she treads
Looking at the sky at one time
Plucking a blooming flower at another
Until she joins the chaos
And drowns into the crowd
Of students today
And tomorrow of her destiny.

Lost

Today I slid into a world

Of haste, want and muddy desires

and a precious memory

Of friendship, laughter and tears

Was lost today.

Today on this crowded road

Of heat, pain and fear

I walk and foray

Into the remains of my life

And pray.

Pray for peace

Of mind, heart and soul

Where I can rest and lay

In the quiet arms of happiness

And sleep away.

Away from the eyes

Of sympathy, sentiment and emotion

Where I can sway

In the glory of wisdom and light

And play.

Play in the abode

Of togetherness, love and joy

Where I can come and say

Words that may mean nothing to you

But light up my day.

Days turn into years

Of yearning, wait and hope

Someday time will turn and stay

At a place where I hold hands with life

And walk away.