Suicide

Warm, parlous and fluent

Oozing out of my wrist

The swift slash of the knife

On the canvas of life

Made by myself, and then

Lying down I look at colors

Blinding all the cheerless

Yesterdays; and the mess

On the carpet starts to

Spread towards the cold floor

Where I lie, half awake

Twisting, like a hurt snake.



The color of your blood

It looks the same as mine

And we are but sisters

With the same pained blisters

Our lives are alike

With potholes on the road

To our aspirations

And our inspirations

Were the same, until I

Chose to give up, and you

Struggled on like that plant

Waiting for a transplant.



Rearranging itself

Our pain has the strangest

Of ways; to bring about

The hardest, darkest route

Leading to tomorrows

That may or may not come

And as I wait for those

Last moments to come close

I know I chose easy

Ways out of injuries

Standing alone, you still

Look for a life to till.



It is not the color

Of your blood and of mine

That can set us apart

But courage in our heart

Makes our souls different

From each other, like the

Sun and the moon; one shines

While the other- it whines

For some light to shed on

The face of the dark world

My lights are going out

And you shine all around.

Again

Awaiting your destiny

On a smokey alley

Clinking glasses and flashing

Lights of sin on your tee

You happily sink deeper

Into your reverie

With a notion of freedom

That only you can see.

In the middle of the night

She wakes up at a knock

The wood, metal and the rust

Tired keys and a lock

Running to keep up. And tears

Of sorrow and of shock

Splash over the wrinkled cheek-

A wave on a dark rock. 

All you see is the fizz

At the bottom of your glass

The lights are still flashing

Colored lightening, so harsh

But your open eyes are

Opaque and you let it pass

The smell of cheap perfume

The shine of expensive cars.

The lump on her throat grows

As she gasps for some fresh air

But these men here don't care. 

She thinks of miracles

That have helped her in despair

And she closes her eyes

In silent, hopeful prayer.

You are still there, still there

How could you change your ways when

The time has passed? And lights-

They flash on you yet again

When she sits beside you

Waiting for you to begin

Explaining your actions.

And she could believe-again. 

On this Journey..

I hear a voice call out and I

Must turn around or just go by

Oh heart, stop thumping on my chest

For I must pass, I must not rest.



The world now looks like a big ship

I, a traveler on its tip

Though trials on my face gush through

This path I must, I must pursue.



Those roses, filled of mud they were

And thorns have grown soft petals here

I carry them on my bare hands

I carry them across the sands.



Oh Freedom, you were such a farce

Today, your meaning I do parse

Who wants you when submission's sweet?

With love and peace it is replete.



Across the seas this love pulls me

And that is where I wish to be

With that passion my heart does burn

I wish to go and not return.

Image source: http://goo.gl/U7C9b

Wasted

There's a fire somewhere, and they rush-

A trail of humans and of smoke

And over the ardor I gush

Under the dismal, dreary cloak.



All the screams of panic and fear

Sing the song of familiar grief

And I allay them, drawing near

Saving prizes from the fierce thief.

Gently, slowly, I dismiss the heat

I heal a burn, I clear the scene

And flowing down I wash some feet

Sweeping and scrubbing gray soil clean.



I come to rest where nothing more

Can brighten this shattering sight

And dirty though, my body sore

Ceasing here brings some respite.



They turn away, in soft murmur

Recalling what they'd just tasted

And who cares in this cold summer

That I was the one just wasted?

Image source: http://goo.gl/uzr37

The Two-Edged Sword

I knew there were two sides to you,

But can love reason, can love see?

"That other side is not for you-

For you, my sweetest side will be".



I saw that smooth, velvety glow

I checked the shine, so bright, so true

I flaunted you to a friend (a foe)

Now looking back, I think she knew.



I got so used to you being near

The hazy aura around you

Would never let me see the clear

Sharp edges on this dagger new.



And love you feigned, with evil thoughts

You crept into my memories

The flame that killed the swarming moths

Began to know no boundaries.



My love was like the river blue

That longed to meet the sprightly sea

And out of love it happily threw

Away its worthy identity.



This other side of you, my dear

Did caress me before the blow

And now, I tremble out of fear

For trickling down, my blood does flow.



I cannot rise from this low fall

I prostrate, and pray to my Lord

I whisper in pain, I recall:

I trusted a two-edged sword.



(Inspired by a scene from a movie. The girl falls in love with a criminal who ultimately kills her)

Image source: http://goo.gl/EYLUq

Remembering an Indian Childhood

Of sandal, spices and of mud

I smell my land-far, far away

Where children swung on banyan roots

And marbles were the game to play.



I dream of colors and flowers

And of the muddy paths I walked

And how I waited for the rains

And how we giggled while we talked.



I think of grassy orchards where

We played the game of climbing trees

And scrambling down with guavas ripe

I held my face against the breeze.



Come summer, what delight it was

To pickle mangoes, green and raw

Chasing the glow worms in the dark

And every shadow that we saw.



Sometimes sitting by the green pond

We took up fishing for some fun

And having caught a fish or two

I tried to dry them in the sun.



And now I am so far away

From childhood and this lovely land

There are no games, no colors bright

They were but castles on the sand.



These footprints on my memories

Cannot be washed away by time

No matter where I live or go

Like little bells they tinkle, chime.



At times these faded memories

Come out, alive, in my deep dreams-

The comfort of my adult life

Might not be as good as it seems.

Two Sides

A Smile.

Beautiful.

Full of love.

Not a care for

The world and its

Rules. Like the soft,

Gentle summer breeze on

The leaves of the dry oak;

Like the morning sun over the

Fresh patches of snow; like a hum

From the lips of a mother, singing a

Lullaby. That is her symbol of prosperity.

Stuck on her eyes, a drop, singing a

Different song. Caged, like a hum:

Dull. Trying to rise over the

Red winter, like a dry oak,

Standing by a breeze on

A chilly day. A soft

Cry, stifled. It's

Never cared for.

Full of pain.

Sad truth.

A Tear.